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MOORE ON MAUMELLE | All columnists have tricks when they run out of material

I have been reading a book by Jimmy Cannon, a great American sports columnist, known primarily for his extensive coverage of boxing back during an era when people really cared about boxing. I remember that when I was a boy, my dad would not miss the “Friday Night Fights” broadcast on television brought to you by Gillette.

One of the column devices Jimmy would use from time to time would be a column that would start with the phrase, “nobody asked me, but…” and then he would list his opinions on a variety of topics. While I’ll never be a Billy Cannon, I thought I would give it whirl.

Nobody asked me, but…

• I am OK with same-sex marriage. If people want to be together, who are we to legislate that? It’s time to let them make it legal and move on. For a brief period, we were a progressive state over the weekend. Now, State Senator Jason Rapert will try to make us a national embarrassment with his attempt to impeach Judge Chris Piazza for his decision. Obviously, this one’s going to the Supreme Court.

• Tom Cotton’s TV commercials are better than Mark Pryor’s. Pryor seems so very uncomfortable on camera and his commercials kind of reflect that awkwardness.

• Asa Hutchinson has finally started to say something. Mike Ross is wisely saving his money for the Battle Royale in November. Both will easily win their primary.

• French Hill will win the Republican nomination for the Second District seat in the House of Representatives. I will probably vote for him — not because of his commercials, but because he has run a positive campaign, while his opponent came out of the chute with an attack ad. Hill will go on to face Patrick Henry Hays in November.

• What business was it that French Hill “sketched out on the back of napkin?” I assume it was Delta Trust and Bank.

• I am sick of Obamacare being the train that Republicans keep riding. (Have an original idea!)

• I can’t believe how long it’s taking to finish the “trail from nowhere” on Maumelle Boulevard.

• I’m sorry there are new apartments opening leasing on Crystal Hill Road. All we need are more cars on the Boulevard!

• I will probably vote in the Republican primary because the Democrats don’t have anyone interesting to vote for. All the good races will be in November.

• So, John Brummett uses the up and down arrows, which is not an original idea, but always enjoyable. I hereby claim use to Billy’s Cannon’s “nobody asked me but…” device whenever I deem it necessary. Most columnists use devices like this when they can’t think of anything else to write about.

Getting rid of satellite

I was reminded during the storm last week that satellite television is the first to abandon you during bad weather. A hard rain or snow will usually take out the signal for a while until it eases up.

Satellite television is ridiculously expensive but it gives you the best quality. I originally had the old Charter Cable when I first moved to Maumelle. But now Maumelle has a relatively new cable provider, Fidelity, which has been aggressively marketing itself via direct mail.

That has gotten me to thinking about kicking the satellite habit. So the latest fad is buying a “box” and streaming shows from your computer. Some of the names you hear are Roku, Apple TV, and Fire by Amazon.

According to a recent report, Americans who no longer get cable or satellite TV have increased 44 percent in the past four years to 7.6 million households. I assure you this has gotten the satellite providers’ attention.

Approximately 18.1 percent of all U.S. households with a Netflix or Hulu account are considered to be cord cutters, the report found. This includes many independent young adults who have never paid for TV services. It seems our kids may be smarter than we are when it comes to paying for television.

The only thing I can’t figure out is how to get live sports programming if I get rid of satellite. I will continue my quest and keep you posted. Has anyone used Fidelity? I would like to hear from you.

See you on the Boulevard.

Neal Moore is COE (Chief of Everything) at Neal Moore Creative, a PR, advertising and marketing consultancy. If you have a community concern or if you’re just irritated about something contact him at neal.moore@sbcglobal.net. Follow him on Facebook, Linkedin or Twitter, @kneelmore.

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